The Wonder Files {The Giant Weta}

My writing, it turns out, draws her inspiration from the natural world. From the sphere of the non-human, the fascination with the animal and arboreal. I spend many moments reading facts of wonder; learning about the movements and the magic of the landscape around me, of the creatures within it, and finding those understandings enriching my own life.

The Wonder Files is an extension of that fascination, a gentle call to activism and to care. A weekly love letter that I share with you of a creature or a plant that’s caught my interest in the hope you’ll find them as wild and wonderful as me.

Wonder, I believe is a portal to care. To hold and grow a sense of wonder leads to love, to kindness, to respect and admiration. When we see something with wonder, we are moved to protect it. Something the world around us could use a little more of.

So here you are, with me, for the Wonder Files. I hope you delight in them as much as I do.

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The Giant Weta

It’s summertime. I know this because the calendar tells me that’s the case. It’s January, and in the southern hemisphere that means short sleeves and T-shirts.

It means stone fruit that leave stains around your lips, and the lusciousness of languid weather that frames all activity within the context of being slightly easier.

Except, that it’s not. Summer, in my little corner of New Zealand is more of a suggestion than a certainty. The change in light is something to rely on. The change in temperature? Not so much.

This year, we’ve taken liberties to push our suggestion of summer out by weeks, or even months.

Summer comes slightly later here, we tell ourselves. It doesn’t really kick in ‘til after Christmas.

When Christmas comes and summer doesn’t, we remark how it seems to be that we’re caught in an easterly flow. Than when the air currents change, we’ll find the sun hiding just behind them. That actually, Autumn is the best season anyway.

Such is the constant optimism of unsettled weather types.

Here, on the edge of my tidal estuary, the energy of air abounds with a certain meteorological fierceness, lending a vibrational pulse to the surrounds that stings the cheeks with an inherent sense of aliveness. My ability to embrace our changing weather patterns sits stubbornly alongside my desire for the sun; for a natural warmth to start first at my skin, seeping through to my blood, warming me to the marrow of my bones.

I peer outside the window thinking this seems a lot to ask.

To be a part of this landscape; to be a part of this place requires a level of flexibility that for humans, might mean starting in a T-shirt whilst holding the possibility that progressing to a jacket within the hour sits within the likely and expected.

For the animals, the true wanderers of the elements, this translates to something quite different. A level of adaptability that leaves their human neighbours reeling in their dust. And the Giant Weta, the largest insect on the planet, holds the gold medal standard of possibility for this prize.

A creature that can literally die and bring her or himself back to life.

A creature whose capacity to weather the changing storms is something I constantly aspire to.

If you aren’t familiar with the Weta, a good point of reference would be to think of a cricket or a grasshopper. A distant relation to the giant Cricket species found in Africa, the “Giant” part of their name derives from the fact they can weigh more than a large sparrow or a mouse.

The Weta family, it turns out, are split into groups of around 70 different types, deriving their name from their native Te Reo Maori, of Weta Punga, whose literal translation means “God Of Ugly Things”.

Fortunately, while our names might be inherited, the individual experience of beauty is not so fixedly prescribed. As I look at the Weta, I see not an ugly creature, but something quite remarkable. A being with delicate limbs, a shell like casing on his body that has an ancient feel, like I’m stepping back in time.

A display of both refinement and resilience, existing side by side.

More fascinating still, my intuition proves me right;  Weta are basically unchanged from when they first appeared, approximately two hundred million years ago. A living dinosaur in fact.

I think about two degrees of separation. I wonder, as I look at this amazing insect, what the clay of his body remembers. How I’m closer to all the bodies of all the creatures that roamed before by sitting closer to his.

I wonder how still I have to sit to make him accept me and not fear me.

I wonder what it would take to be a part of his landscape, rather than a predator within it.

Up until recently, Weta had no natural predators in New Zealand. With no native mammals living here (a fascinating fact we’ll explore another day), the Weta took on the role that mice and small rodents do in many countries, eating the leaf litter, berries, and seeds.

It’s even thought they may have been amongst our earliest pollinators, their presence an indication of the ecosystem and wellbeing of the forest.

Humans, it turns out, and the creatures we introduced, have become their greatest threat. Knowledge that grates on me as I sit in the soil and observe.

At 44 years old, I have lived the life span of 44 Giant Wetas. And yet, over the cycle of a year, they moult or shed their exoskeleton up to eleven times.

In human years and by my age, that’s 484 rounds of shedding skin. I’m not sure I’ve kept up.

You’re very good, I tell my Giant Weta friend, at letting yourself be newTo learn to shed your skin and leave behind what’s no longer relevant or needed is something we can learn from you.

I sit a few moments longer, consider the worries that I continue holding onto; the skins I have shed or need to, to allow a new version of myself to take up space.

I let my eyes trace the horizon, my gaze moving up the mountain. Weta, often live in the high mountains of New Zealand; if we speak of cold, it is there that you will find it. With temperatures often reaching below freezing, there is a real possibility of Weta’s freezing too.

And remarkably, that’s exactly what they do. To avoid an icy death, the Weta dehydrates every cell in their great and tiny body. A special protein is added to the excess water between cells that acts like ancient antifreeze, allowing for their re-emergence, come the spring, from death and back to life.

I love that this giant, small creature, the one that we call ugly, the one that treads the undergrowth of the forest, has carried their form through from ancient times. That their footprints bear the signature of ancient lands.

I love that this giant, small creature has such strong threads of seasonal connection, to allow them to leave this life and return to it just the same.

That their body continues to expand to incorporate, and not limit to reduce, the fullest expression of their form of this planet, the previous versions of themselves left as ghosts on the land they continue to inhabit.

What else might we learn from the Giant Weta?

What are all the ways we can lose our skin and journey back to life?

 

Listen To Your Art

Of late, with more and more writing, I’ve become more and more intimate with my own creative process. I’m not what I’d refer to as a quick writer. Not when it comes to the poetic forms of work that are important to me.

Instead, the process of my words entering a state of becoming involves a period of creative marination. A series of thought infused satellites spinning round my head waiting to send the information down the creative slippery dip and into my brain.

These periods in between- these periods of apparent creative nothingness- used to scare me.  I began to think maybe that was it. That I had used up my full allowance of all the words; that whatever creative heartbeat I’d previously known to pulse through the page had flatlined, unable to be revived despite my cajoling and my tantrums.

I imagined to myself, in my state of creative disillusion, that the work of other poets, of other writers, were most likely swift and fast. That their work somehow appeared, for no other reason than they were writers, and that’s what writer’s words do. They appear and they are shared, and they are read by hungry eyes such as mine who then sit back and wonder why their own words don’t appear in the same way.

Such is the delusion.

I now understand these in between zones to be a necessary creative space, an important, intangible piece of the process that not only acts in service of my capacity to write, but even more so: the writing exists because of them.

The decision to write what you’re reading now has come about as a part of this unfolding, of these hard-won understandings. It is an act of honoring process- my process- regardless of whether it’s the same or different or somewhere in between as everyone else’s.

Creating, I’m learning, is about dancing in the spaces between the things that already exist.

Creating, I’m learning, is allowing yourself to be a little bit lost.

To swim in the space between the idea and the thing looking to be created.

And beyond that, the creativity itself is neither the idea nor the thing; it’s the emptiness between them.

Our ability to consistently create- our willingness to be people who consistently create- is directly proportionate to our ability to hold space for the unknown. To let go of the control.

The beauty of that being that to create is to allow oneself to be constantly surprised.

To rest in the space between does not mean that something’s wrong or nothing’s coming. Quite the opposite in fact.

The nothingness, the feeling of stuckness, the I have no idea-ness is not a nothingness at all but a vortex of potential.

To be in between is to rest in the space of the creative transition. A moment of wordless suspense. Your willingness to float here- and to continue to do something even if what appears is far from what you intended to create- is what helps you develop creative faith.

So, when you inevitably, expectedly, meet this space again, you will delight in the possibility of the download while you do the gritty work of continuing to show up.

And when you do, my friend, know that the rest of us who seek to do creative work will at some point meet you there.


Three Things For You

As I type this, I myself am in the satellite space of creation. The time I often need to bring a creative piece to life makes it hard to write to a schedule, and to be honest, I don’t want to force one.

That said, I’m unhappy with the communication void this can create in the moments in between.

So three things for you…

1.  What you’re reading now is a new weekly missive I’m calling Listen To Your Art. She will contain weekly musings, thoughts and sharings of things I’ve learned from the creative process and what it means to live a creative life, in a way that’s hopefully encouraging of you to do the same.

2.  On Wednesday’s, we’ll be starting The Wonder Files. A weekly feature of a plant or animal and the details I’ve learned about them that have led to awe and wonder. Wonder, I believe, is the portal to care. To share wonder is a form of activism, a creation of a link in the curiosity chain that will, should my wish come to life, lead us to care more deeply and participate more actively to protect and nurture this amazing world that we’re a part of.

3. Everything I’ve outlined above is available to you as a free subscriber (in addition to the usual poems and writing). I’m so grateful for you being here, it’s quite hard to express. Becoming a paid member, should that be an option, not only supports me in creating this work, but also gives you access to our monthly creative call, behind the scenes notes from my work, and access to community threads and conversations. I’d love you to be a part of it if you are moved to.

It’s always amazing to hear from you, so I’d love you to share. What do you think you can practice to help you develop more creative faith?

Take care of your gentle selves,

Much love,

xx Jane