I was going to start this letter by saying “I installed a widget” but actually that’s a lie. I didn’t install it at all. I tinkered with it, yes. Made it magnificent *flips hair*. But the installing part I left up to Sir Randall.
Sir Randall is a tech genius wot lets me email with computer complaints that I gaslight him into believing are ‘invitations’ or ‘requests’ by the use of strategically placed emojis.
For instance, I might be saying this:
Sir Randall, can you please help me install this widget wots being a little pesky?
When what I mean is:
Look, this thing is giving me hot sweats and makes me want to poke my eyes out. I’m about to throw my laptop in the ocean. I might have to sell my kids (that’s unrelated). I beg of you, Sir Randall, please. Save me. 
Because I like you, I want to break this conversation down.
You can see what I offered here was an “Emoji Sandwich”.
A quick tutorial, if you will:
You start with the something that leads to a positive emotion
… followed up with the truth of how you feel
… and then leave it as though it’s easy breezy
It works, because what I have now is a chat box on my website. So, you know… proof.
The thing is, I am in New Zealand and Sir Randall is on Eastern Time, which means there’s exactly eleventybillion hours between us.
At some point, Sir Randall went to bed, and I was left, acting cool dealing with some rather massive questions.
‘Do you want to install an AI chatbot’, the chat thing asked (so meta), to which I frantically replied that I did not. AI be gone! *Flaps around sword*
And just when I thought I had it sorted, upon testing, a strange window popped up.
CUSTOMER SUPPORT.
Lord above.
….complete with a strange little man who seemed to do a lot of talking.
What follows is some two hours of my time figuring out how to change the text, delete the man, and fiddle with the contents of that window.
Let it be known that Customer Support has been transformed into the Department of Creative Curiosity.
My welcome message states: You’re talking to a real Human Bean, in case you’re wondering”.
Side note: High on my own tech skills, I told this to my friend. She replied, ‘Together we rice’. The calories from that comment have been feeding me for days. I may never need to eat from this point forward.
But THIS, my friends, is the whole reason (aside from being unemployable and some other practical logistics) that I am self-employed.
I can write Human Bean as an official title on my own damn website on an almost-self-installed widget, and there’s no-one around that’s here to stop me.
And if that doesn’t make you happy, then I’m afraid, I’ve got nothing here for you ( ).
Widgets, Department of Creative Curiosity and proper Human Beans are today’s Small Happinesses.
xx Jane
So far, it’s just been me and Randall chatting back and forth but it’s really boosted the page views on my website.